Why coaching? Why me?

I felt absolutely alone. I was four years old and dealing with the weight of feeling unwanted. That’s more weight than a child should bear, but those were the cards I was dealt.

Those lonely moments started the story of the “Jason” who has arrived at this time and place for this purpose.

I lived with my grandparents until I was eight. That’s fairly common now, but it was less so when I was young. Living with them in itself wasn’t bad, but the lack of parental love, nurturing, and guidance left its mark on my view of myself.

I lost an older half-brother to a tragedy when I was seven, and that was enough to cause damage, but it was never talked about in any way. Ever. I was left to try to make sense of it, with no comprehension of how to do so.

Having to process hard situations alone was the theme of my young life—from failures, loss, and abandonment, to relationship struggles and self-worth issues.

The only advice I received about dealing with conflict was to “fight” about it, but in the home, when I would “fight” for myself I was punished.

The lack of bonding, communication, nurturing, and consistency, coupled with uncertainty, volatility, and punishment, caused me to develop an insecure attachment style.

My attachment style is disorganized. It affects my self-worth, my view of the world, and my ability to accept love.

It’s affected every relationship I’ve had. It’s been an influence on my substance addiction, my need for validation, and my inability to communicate my needs as well as to fully appreciate the needs of others.

I had always sold myself short and expected less for myself and from others.

I’m only scratching the surface of my trauma and how I ended up here.

There was a point a few years ago when I was interested in pursuing coaching as a career, but I allowed my limiting beliefs about myself to hold me back.

So why coaching, and why now?

I’ve spent many years on a healing journey (I know that can be a tough phrase for men): 14 years of therapy, 12-step programs, holistic healing, reading, podcasts, among many other modalities.

I’ve been searching. Often looking in the past for what went wrong. Therapy helped a great deal, which was needed to process the trauma, but I found that looking back wasn’t solving my issues moving forward.

But the cycles kept repeating themselves.

As I drove my last relationship into the ground, I’d had enough.

That’s when I pursued my own coach—specifically to relearn a new secure attachment style.

And that’s when I knew that I could use all I’ve learned over the years to help people expedite their own journeys. I’ve experienced several modalities (CBT, neurofeedback, inner child work, 12-step, breathwork, and more) along my healing journey.

Ultimately, it comes down to communication, self-regulation, and understanding that we have inherent worth. But what that takes is self-awareness, hard work, and a willingness to think about managing oneself in the future.

That’s my purpose now: helping others along their journey to find secure relationships and personal self-worth. I’m here to help rewrite the story you’ve told yourself and start a new chapter!

If this is you, book an exploratory appointment and let’s start writing a new story for you!